For Brides

Is it okay to ask for money?
Some experts say this is tacky. However, I don't think it's any more or less tacky than asking for other specific items on a registry. The fact of the matter is that money is the most popular wedding gift out there, by a landslide.
Instead of asking for it, flat-out, however, or only requesting cash, simply write, "Cash Donations Appreciated" as one possible choice on your registry.

How long do I have to send a thank-you card?
The rule of thumb is no longer than one month following the ceremony.
However, quicker is always better. And, if you want your note to be remembered, make specific references to how much you enjoyed the gift given and consider including a small budget-appropriate token of appreciation, such as a $5 Starbucks gift card.

My wedding was cancelled; what do I do with the gifts?
There's only one appropriate answer, and it applies to all situations: return them, even the shower gifts! Include a brief thank-you note and statement of fact that the wedding is off. It's up to you how many additional details you wish to provide.

For Wedding Guests

What if the invitation says no gifts?
Most likely, the couple really means it, although it's not unheard of for newlyweds to use this phrase as a "polite" way of asking for cash. It's not required to show up with a present, although a thoughtful, personalized card is a must. If you still desire to get them something, gift cards, cash or charitable contributions in their name are the best choices.

I'm not going to the wedding. Do I have to send a gift?
If you're relatively close to one or both people, it's polite - and usually expected- to send a gift in lieu of your presence. However, if the engaged are distant acquaintances, all that's required is an RSVP, and maybe a best-wishes card.

If I chose to send a gift, how long do I have to send it?
Ideally, your gift should arrive before the wedding. However, up to two-four weeks afterward is acceptable.

What is a honeymoon registry?
This trend began in the 1990s. Most commonly, couples create customizable web pages to share the details of their honeymoon plans, and accept donations toward this vacation. The most common types of gifts given are money, meant to cover a specific portion of the honeymoon such as hotel, airfare, or gift certificates for a particular event (dinner at an elegant restaurant, surfing lessons, a spa treatments, etc.)

What is an online registry?
Designed primarily for convenience, particularly in the case of weddings with a lot of out-of-town guests, an online registry allows the couple to program all of their registry choices from a variety of stores into one main online account. As people buy the items, the program tracks what was purchased and when.

What about re-gifting?
Re-gifting - or the process of taking something you've already been given and bestowing it upon someone else as a present - has earned an undeserved, unfair rap as cheap, thoughtless and tacky. I say, if you happen to be in the possession of something that the newlywed couple would love and you don't want it, all the more power to you (and your wallet!) Notice the following keywords: That the newlywed couple would love. It's NOT acceptable, under any circumstances, to re-gift an item simply because you think it's useless or ugly. Doing that is thoughtless and cheap, and makes you come across poorly.
However, when the item in question is actually something of value, feel free to turn around and re-gift it. Just make sure to follow these guidelines to avoid any embarrassing faux pas:

1. Remove the original card. Nothing screams "re-gifted!" faster than a greeting addressed to the wrong person.
2. Make sure gift cards have an even value on them. Great, Nordstrom! The newlywed couple thinks. For the grand total of ...$48.19? Unless you want to be caught red-handed, take it upon yourself to verify slightly used gift cards are rounded to an even denomination - $25, $50, etc... Better move: Transfer that even amount onto another brand-new card and put it in a fresh envelope.
3. Verify it's not something the couple - or any of their close friends or family - originally gave to you. Believe me, the item will be recognized. And the humiliation and stigma will be difficult to live down.
4. Confirm the item looks brand new. Sorry, but you lose your re-gifting privileges the second the item in question becomes dirty, open, broken or scratched.

Sound off! What's the best or worst wedding gift you've ever received?
E-mail responses to Shannon@vowsmagazine.com
Responses will be revealed here at www.travelgirlinc.com.